4 Things Young Black Women Should Remember When Dating

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By: Madam Prezident 

70% of African American women are unmarried. Although that’s a large amount of unmarried black folk—it’s a harsh reality. Being an African American woman currently on the dating scene, I noticed a few mistakes that we as women make when meeting someone new. These mistakes are the top 4 things that keep us single.

1)    Clingy

Stop being clingy—if you are the clingy type, then stop. It’s not a bad thing to desire the presence of someone you like, but when you are forcing your connection oppose to allowing it to take it’s natural course, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. I am a strong believer that we all make time for the people and things that are important to us. If you think you need to be clingy to keep his interest, then it’s apparent he’s not that interested in you.

 

2)    Expectations

Have clear expectations when you meet someone new. If you are looking to date long-term, short-term or you’re just “kickin’ it“—take the time to let the prospective dater know. One of our biggest mistakes as women is our inability to be “straight up“.  When a man is solely interested in you sexually, he doesn’t hesitate to tell you. Having clear expectations will save you a lot of time, and from long pointless dates.

 

3)    Don’t Date Potential

For some reason, black women like to date men who have the potential of being a good, employed, or strong man. This kind of behavior needs to stop. You don’t walk on a car lot to purchase a dependable car, and allow the dealer to show you a non-operable car—telling you it has the potential to run.  If you work fulltime and you want your man to work full time then date a man who has a job.  If you’re a Christian woman who wants a church going man, then don’t meet the guy at the club and pray he desires to attend church—date the brother at the church. We have to date a man’s reality not his potential.

 

4)    Do Not Have Sex on the 1st Date

If you’re not looking for a relationship that is solely sexual, then don‘t start the relationship off with sex.  I’m sure it’s been a while since you’ve had “some“, and you’re probably in orgasmic hiatus, but don’t be desperate and careless by being sexually active with a man that you barely know. Many women like to use the philosophy of being a “grown woman” who can handle sexual intercourse without any attachment as their justification for sleeping with men expeditiously. In actually it’s a lie. I do not believe it is humanly possible for a woman to have anything on the inside of her and not be attached. God did not create us that way. If you want something more than sex, then don’t make sex the foundation of your relationship. In other words, make him wait.

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METEOROLOGIST FIRED AFTER RESPONSE TO FACEBOOK HAIR POST

According to Vibe,

Rhonda A. Lee was reportedly fired from her meteorologist position at KTBS 3 News after replying to a Facebook post a viewer typed discussing her hair texture and style.

A portion of the Oct. 1 post written by Emmitt Vascocu read “the black lady that does the news is a very nice lady. The only thing is she needs to wear a wig or grow some more hair.” She also stated, “I’m not sure if she is a cancer patient.”

Emmitt later received a response from Lee that changed the course of her career. After saying that she is the “black lady” on the news broadcast and isn’t terminally ill, Lee responded, “Many Black women use strong straightening agents in order to achieve a more European grade of hair and that is their choice. However in my case I don’t find it necessary. I’m very proud of who I am and the standard of beauty I display.”

Vascocu then replied he isn’t a racist person but fired this controversial comment back, “…this world has…certain standerd (sic). If you’ve come from a world of being poor are you going to dress in rags?”

The ABC affiliate station in Shreveport, La. that Lee reported on couldn’t “reference a documented rule that Ms. Lee was in violation of,” according to Clutch. “They told me the policy I violated isn’t written down, but was mentioned in a newsroom meeting about a month-and-a-half prior. A meeting I didn’t attend,” Lee said. “So when I asked what rule did I break there isn’t anything to point to.” That policy being the prevention of responding to viewer’s comments on social media sites, one she was unaware of.

Lee expressed to CNN’s Soledad O’Brien that she feels she is being unfairly “punished” for her actions.

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British Police Officer Says…”All Black People Look Like Monkeys And Live In Mud Huts”

This shady son of a beyotch just looks like his lips spew out racist remarks allll day long!

According to International Business Times:

A police officer has appeared before magistrates in London for telling a colleague that black people “look like moneys”. PC Costas Dakoutros said that PC Kevin Hughes, of Brentwood, Essex, made the comments while they were on patrol after seeing three black men standing on the pavement.

Prosecutor Kate Wilkinson told Westminster magistrates court how Hughes turned to Dakoutros and said: “Look at them, they look like f*****g monkeys.”

She said: “PC Dakoutros looked shocked and said ‘You can’t say that’.”

Hughes replied: “No, but it’s true.”

Wilkinson continued: “He began to deliberate that they [black people] were closely related to chimpanzees and then said they were more closely related to Neanderthals.” Another colleague, who was also in the car at the time, is alleged to have heard Hughes say: “Black people hadn’t evolved and lived in mud huts in Africa.” Following the shift, Dakoutros wrote an email to himself detailing events, which read: “Kevin looked at three IC3 (black) males and stated they looked like monkeys.”

Hughes denied the charge and said he was commenting on the way one man was walking.

Wilkinson said: “[Hughes] said he didn’t recall seeing three black males but said he saw someone with a certain gait who walked like a monkey and he had said to PC Dakoutros something about a monkey.”

Word??? Just imagine what kind of isht they’ve said that was not heard.

And y’all thought it was bad here in the U.S. SMH.

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Don’t Ask Spike Lee About Tyler Perry-He’s Tired Of It!!!

Spike is tired of the Tyler Perry questions-with good reason!

According to Hip-Hop wired: We all know that Spike Lee isn’t one to hold his tongue, so when people asked about his disdain for Tyler Perry, he quickly shut the whole thing down. Lee, who is promoting his Red Hook Summer release, was being interviewed by host Art Terrell, on Atlanta’s KISS 104.1 radio station, when the Perry questions came up

“No more Tyler Perry questions, please,” he said.

In the past the Brooklyn native has accused Perry of promoting “coonery” for dressing in drag as the character Madea. The move has earned Perry millions upon millions of dollars, but has not barred him from criticism from both his peers, and the Black community, for using his platform to reinforce stereotypes.

In response, Perry has had choice words for Lee.  “I’m so sick of hearing about damn Spike Lee,” he said in an interview.  “Spike can go straight to hell! You can print that. I am sick of him talking about me, I am sick of him saying, ‘this is a coon, this is a buffoon.’ I am sick of him talking about black people going to see movies. This is what he said: ‘You vote by what you see,’ as if black people don’t know what they want to see.”

Rather than re-igniting more fury in the long-standing feud, Lee took a more politically correct route, on the radio: “Peace and love, leave it at that,” he said of Perry.

So, while it doesn’t appear that a full on reconciliation is in the works, at best these two can obviously put their differences behind them, which is always a good thing.

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Magic And The HIV-Positive Girl Who Changed Him Met 20 Years Ago

It amazes me when children display intelligence and courage that adults do not even display.

When Magic Johnson announced to the world that he was infected with HIV in November of 1991, he instantly became the face of the virus.

But not too long after he made his announcement, the world focused its eyes on another face: a sweet, 7-year-old girl who had a hard time dealing with her HIV-positive status.

During a taping of a Nickelodeon AIDS Special that focused on informing youth that the virus can affect anyone, Hydeia Broadbent sat bravely near Johnson among a group of younger children sharing how hard it was for her to deal with negative perceptions of the virus and the teasing she experienced over it. But then she broke down and, fighting through her tears, told him, “I want people to know that we’re just normal people.”

He put his massive hand on her tiny shoulder and told her, “Aww, you don’t have to cry. Because we are normal people. OK? We are.”

Now, some 20 years later, Hydeia and Magic continue to be very powerful voices for people living with HIV, CNN reports. Magic became infected because he had unprotected sex. And Hydeia became a victim of the virus through her drug-using mother. Both reunited back in March during a Los Angeles screening of “The Announcement,” a documentary about the NBA legend coming forward about his HIV status. Hydeia’s tearful moment during the Nickelodeon special was replayed during the documentary.

WATCH Magic And Hydeia Talk About HIV 20 Years Ago (Timed at 8:22 in clip)

Magic recalls their first meeting some 20 years ago as a moment that further focused his commitment to HIV/AIDS awareness :

“Hydeia means the world to me,” Johnson said. “When I first met her 20 years ago and saw how emotional and devastated she was by the treatment she was getting from other people, it just broke my heart into pieces.

“That very moment was both sad and inspirational. It made me want to do more to bring awareness to the disease and educate people so that no one would have to feel the way she did that day.”

Hydeia, now 27, continues to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS. In addition to delivering lectures at universities and giving speeches at conferences, she says she is very straightforward when informing young people about how difficult it is to be HIV-positive. Hydeia says she is particularly troubled with today’s younger generation who she feels under-estimates the realities of being HIV-positive.

“I try to tell it as real as I can, that this isn’t a disease they want,” she said. “The current generation, they don’t know the reality of HIV/AIDS. They look at me and Magic Johnson and think you can pop a pill and be OK. They don’t know the seriousness of the disease. They don’t know the side effects of the medicine. They don’t know the financial realities of the situation.

“They really don’t know that you can die.”

Today, African-Americans are disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS. According to the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), Blacks account for just 14 percent of the U.S. population, but accounted for 44 percent of new HIV infections in 2009. Gay Black men are especially affected. Between 2006-2009, gay men accounted for more than 48 percent of new HIV infections. In 2009, 30 percent of Black women accounted for HIV infections among all Blacks. More than 85 percent of Black women acquired HIV through heterosexual sex.

While those living with HIV/AIDS no longer have to endure the same level of ignorance now as Magic and Hydeia had to deal with more than 20 years ago, numbers provided by the CDC clearly reveal that our community has work even harder to educate each other about HIV.

Hopefully, 20 years from now, neither Blacks nor any any other race of people will have to deal with the ugliness of this horrible virus that brought then seven-year-old Hydeia to tears.

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CARTOON HAS A MESSAGE FOR BLACK WOMEN

There’s a little illustration, a cartoon if you will, that’s currently making its way around the web. Though there is evidence of its presence on the internet, as far back as October of last year, comedian Kevin Hart made it popular by posting it on his Facebook page. Judging by the reaction to the comic, everyone doesn’t find it so funny.

Take a look and let us know what you think:

You want to know what I think? While I could take offense to the stereotypes the black women in this comic are portraying, I can also say that I chuckled when I first looked at this illustration. You know why? Because all jokes, though occasionally absurd, are usually based off a modicum of truth. And while this scenario has never played out in my personal life;…to the best of my knowledge, I can say I’ve seen it happen. As far back as middle school, I’ve seen it happen. And not just to the “nerdy” dudes either. Boys who were considered “soft” or “too dark” were sometimes openly and harshly rejected by sistas. And you know what? They moved on. Not always washing their hands completely of black women but gravitating towards a woman who wouldn’t put them down. Who can be mad at that?

Sure, not all black men start dating white women because of this and certainly all black women don’t reject men they think are “geeky” but this is one, two framed illustration. It would be foolish to think it could tackle all the sometimes painful dynamics that exist between black women and black men.

What do you think about the comic? Were you offended? Have you ever witnessed a scenario like this?

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