Up early listening to Gladys Knight; and the Motown sound is quite alright!
I had an emotional weekend. I went to W.O.V.E.N (Women of Value Embracing Nations) it’s a Christian fellowship/workshop in Frankfort, Kentucky for women to be encouraged, empowered, and uplifted through the acknowledgement and word of GOD. “It’s really good”, so many of us young women are hurt from child-hood and some recent experiences. Testimonies that will stream tears down your eyes and heart because no matter what you think you know, you never know “her story”! Even after she tells you!
Well, I have been pondering about some things all weekend, and I’m back in a healing process from my past relationship, sometime the pain goes away, and sometime it returns. So, as this pain re-enters my heart from time to time, I’m in search of the root of this pain; not just the reason for it!
I was riding in the car with one of my sorority sisters, and I looked over to her and I asked her “how do you know when you have low self esteem”? And she looked back at me, in a confused look, because “low self-esteem suppose to be easy to identify”. However; I’m beginning to believe it is not!
What is esteem? Esteem means, according to the dictionary
–verb (used with object)
1.to regard highly or favorably; regard with respect or admiration: I esteem him for his honesty.
2.to consider as of a certain value or of a certain type; regard:I esteem it worthless.
3.Obsolete . to set a value on; appraise.
So I read the definition of esteem and I said, I didn’t regard myself, my heart, my love with respect or admiration. I was stunned, to have concluded that I too, was a woman of low self-esteem. People think low self-esteem is a pitiful look, which is determined by appearance but it’s not!
There are so many beautiful women suffering from “low self-esteem”! Us women, who have compromised our integrity for love. Over the course of three years, I began to review how many times I was disappointed and hurt in my past relationship, and it wasn’t that person, it was my “low self-esteem”, allowing me to stay in something that was never good to me or for me, and all those nights of crying and sipping moscato because my lover was gone, had cheated, or didn’t console me after a family death, it hurt, but my low self esteem allowed me to get that far into hurt, because had my esteem had been where it should be, I would have left the first time, on the first sign, he showed he didn’t care”!
All that time, I thought it was my EX, and it was ME HAVING LOW SELF ESTEEM, ME COMPROMISING MY SELF WORTH FOR NO REASON AT ALL!!!
Well Ladies, I don’t know about you, but I’m working on my esteem, and you should too, because your esteem is low, and you don’t even know!!!
Wikipedia Definition of Esteem
Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person‘s overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs (for example, “I am competent”, “I am worthy”) and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride and shame.
Self-esteem can apply specifically to a particular dimension (for example, “I believe I am a good writer and I feel happy about that”) or have global extent (for example, “I believe I am a bad person, and feel bad about myself in general”).
Psychologists[who?] usually regard self-esteem as an enduring personality characteristic (“trait” self-esteem), though normal, short-term variations (“state” self-esteem) also exist.